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Post by Shadow Da Smiffster on Jul 14, 2010 0:28:36 GMT -8
WORDS GET TRAPPED IN MY MIND Sorry I Don't Take The Time To Feel The Way I Do
Suddenly, Chazz found Lilybreeze running over to him and pressing her face into his scruff. His fur fluffed out from embarrassment again, but his gaze softened almost immediately as she nearly cried over him, "Im sorry! It's all my fault your hurt."
Chazz suddenly felt the need to assure her, that no, it was not her fault. He didn't want her to be crying over him... for something that was not only about her, but about him as well. That he would have done something like that for anyone in that situation. He was not heartless. Rough around the edges for sure, but not heartless.
"We will need some herbs, this group go find cobwebs, and this group head towards the twoleg gardens and find purple flowers they have seeds that I need. Go, now!" she commanded to his gang. Without any hesitation, they scrammed off the building, and Chazz, despite the pain and awkwardness he felt, was compelled to laugh.
"Remind me never to mess with you," Chazz joked as Lily settled beside him. And then, she started to do something completely unexpected... she started to clean his wounds. Chazz winced a bit, but less from pain then from confusion. Why show him this kind of kindness? He didn't deserve it... but regardless, he was grateful. Eventually the feeling of her tongue running over his wounds soothed the stinging, and he started to relax a bit more as they waited for whatever his followers were going to bring back.
"I'm so glad your not dead," she spoke up, breaking Chazz's trance. "I was so scared that I would not see you again, or hear you speak again. Why didn't you just let him have his way with me?" she mewed as tears started to fall down her face. Chazz's eyes widened, and an overwhelming sense of guilt overtook him as he watched her. Was she really that concerned over him? He'd been through worse then this.... "I'm sorry for this, you must think I'm a big baby." she sniffled and tried to wipe her tears with her paw. Chazz stayed silent, lowering his gaze to the ground as Lily once again checked the stairs for the gang to come back.
"Do you need anything?"
"Please! Just... stop," Chazz snapped. His voice wasn't mean, but desperate, and his eyes, when he finally looked back up at Lilybreeze, reflected this well. "You don't need to do anything for me. Really. I'm used to things like this... just... stay here?"
The request sounded pathetic to him, and he once again looked down, his insecurity with the situation getting the best of him. "You don't have to keep apologizing either. I would have done that for anybody. I can't stand watching people get picked on like that. I was manipulated too many times out here."
Still, what Lily didn't have to know is that he almost never resorted to killing. At least, not over things like this. He always wanted to let cats have a second chance if he could, but sometimes... it couldn't be helped. Kong was off his rocker, that was for sure. Of all the moons he'd wandered the streets, he'd never seen a male try to forcebreed a female.
"And... I think if I died I'd be a pretty pissed off cat on the other side," he mused. "Though I guess I'm going to consider this my fourth life. The first three times were for other reasons. I was a kit in ThunderClan, and taken away from that. First life gone, I became a kittypet. That's where I got my name, Chazz... and then when I left in the hopes I could go home, my second life was through. Then I came here...." he trailed off. "I spent most of my life living like you just saw. Fighting, basically. I got sick of it though... and I remembered my place of birth. I went home.... but it still doesn't feel right. There's something missing no matter where I go," he sighed.
He lifted his gaze to meet Lilybreeze's own optics, "And this time I evaded death on your behalf. I've been in situations like this, but they weren't quite the same... so I'm going to start anew again. I'm not sure what I was trying to gain by taking you out to the city... but I've decided that I'm definitely leaving this place behind after tonight...."
Realizing he started rambling about nothing important he trailed off. There was still something he needed to say, but he wasn't sure how to say it. Perhaps it had to do with the feeling of guilt at the pit of his stomach? He supposed an apology wasn't beyond him, no matter how many times he'd told himself to live without regret, "I'm... sorry too I guess," he said at last. "I didn't mean for things to turn out like this, but I'm just a magnet for these things I suppose. By no means did you ever have to treat me so kind. I know I didn't treat you with the respect you deserved at the beginning of this day, and I'm sorry for that too... I judged too quickly."
He stopped again, wondering why he kept on rambling nonsense to Lilybreeze, "Heh, you make me act out of character. It's kind of weird," he concluded offhandedly. "I never ramble this much to anyone."
CUZ THE FIRST DAY YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE Time Ticks Around You
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Post by ♥Rösε on Jul 14, 2010 9:37:46 GMT -8
Lily ran her blue optics over the tom cat, pleased that his wounds were not bleeding very much and when the gang of allycats came back the cobwebs would stop it permanently and heal from it. She could feel a wave of guilt flow over her like a wave and she suddenly felt really bad for fussing over him like that. He probably didn't like it and it would only push him away. She waited for him to react before she herself said anything more, she was already running her mouth frantically before and she decided to stop it now while she still seemed strong. Really she wasn't she may act it some of the time but deep down she couldn't handle seeing someone like this, and for her no less. She didn't know how to feel about all this right now, her emotions were running frantic through her body and she didn't like being so unsure. Not just unsure of what he felt but of what she was feeling it was really odd, and nothing good came out of her acting like this. Taking a breath she tried to relax herself and just focus on getting those wounds patched up before anything else happened. Turning her head back towards the stairs she was getting a bit anxious.
"Remind me never to mess with you,"
He laughed and she flicked her gaze back on him. An amused smile pressed against her lips and she nodded. "Yea you shouldn't I may be a flower but this flower has thorns."[/color] she teased and winked at her companion before turning to sit by him, just waiting for the others to come back. she hoped they could find them al right and part of her wished she went with them to help them look. Maybe she would, it wouldn't be to hard to find them right? Looking back at the tom cat she decided against it, he would need supervision for those cuts until the herbs were brought back. So the female slide onto her paws and laid beside him, resting her head on her paws. Though she couldn't lay still so she got to her paws, to much happened tonight that she couldn't clear her mind of it all and relax. Instead she just sat before him and waited, closing her eyes so she could let her body relax. Reopening her gaze it sort of helped a bit. She caught a look in his eyes and she stared at him. Why was he staring at her light that, was it desperate for something? He snapped at her and even though it wasn't harsh it still made her flinch in response. She wanted to say something but no words would come out. "You don't need to do anything for me. Really. I'm used to things like this... just... stay here?"[/color] She searched his face for anything else but she couldn't find anything else but desperation to make her see this. So she just nodded again, her body feeling numb all over again, but she tried not to let it show. "Of course I'll stay."[/color] she mewed and then let her mind wander, did e me just stay here so she didn't cause anymore trouble, or stay with him in general? She wasn't sure, which just kept adding on to a list of things she wasn't sure about. Her eyes just rested on him, she didn't know what to do, or how to feel everything in her mind was so confused. Looking up at the sky she could barely see the stars which really made her feel even more alone than ever. StarClan what's wrong with me? She thought desperately, she was always so calm and collected but now she was nervous and selfless even more so than she usually was. Suddenly she was furious at herself, and she didn't know why she wanted to cry and laugh all at the same time. Laugh because was so foolish to think that he could ever love her! That was it, realization hit her like a two leg monster, she loved him? How and when it happened she wasn't sure. That made her angry to, why would she expect love, she was born to just produce for no reason, or thats how it seemed. Her lobes flicked as he said he'd do it for anyone and the feeling of being like everyone else rushed through her but she kept herself cool, mustering up all her strength to keep herself collected. Nodding to that she waited, keeping her gaze on the skies as if they were supposed to give her a sign. She turned to look at him as he started talking to her about his different lives. She listened to each one calmly, how she was being so calm and reserved right now she did not know. She could see how each life would be different and a bit of it intrigued her to where she forgot a little of her past feelings, it was amazing how he lived so many different lives, kittypet, rogue, warrior. When he finished and said he was leaving the city behind she almost felt like it was saying leaving whatever they did together here as well, like the bonding they did. "I'm... sorry too I guess,"[/color] He started to say and she focused her striking blue optics on his face. He apologized for what she went through and place a small smile on her lips, since it was all she could get herself to do. "Well it would have happened sooner or later, Im just glad you were here otherwise who knows what would have happened."[i/] she mewed her voice warm and soft, trying to make him feel better about taking her here with him. When he said he judged her to quickly she just smiled and and did nothing else, at least she was different from what he expected of her, which was good in some ways.
"Heh, you make me act out of character. It's kind of weird,"[/color] She stared at him, tilting her head slightly. She made him act weird what about him to her? She was never this unbalanced. "That we both have in common."[/color] she mewed cooly, her ears flicking as she heard faint paw steps coming up the stairs, only two cats came up and walked towards her one with the cobweb and the other with seeds carried in a silver wrap. she nodded at them and they took off down the stairs leaving them along again. Grabbing some cobwebs in her paws she placed them firmly but gentle into place on every wound not before she licked them one last time. When she was done she sniffed at the seeds, they were the right ones. To many for him so she pushed two seeds forward and pushed the others back. "Poppy seeds for pain. Sleep well."[/color] she mewed gently and got to her paws she walked towards the edge of the roof and plopped down letting her forepaws hang over the edge a bit. He was probably happy not to be pretending anymore, and to be rid of her for tonight. Staring out at the lights she rolled herself a little ways away, turning her back on the lights, she could tell she wouldn't sleep tonight and still here she was wishing something would happen, but what? [/blockquote][/blockquote][/color][/sub]
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Post by Shadow Da Smiffster on Jul 14, 2010 10:09:48 GMT -8
I'M I STILL BREATHING Have I Lost That Feeling Am I Made Of Glass Cuz You See Right Through Me
Chazz stayed silent after Lilybreeze admitted, that she too, was acting out of character. He wasn't sure what to make of that. Was it a good thing? Frustration made its way into his pelt as Lilybreeze finished taking care of his wounds, and giving him poppy seeds to put him out. Before eating them, he watched as she moved towards the side of the building and settled herself away from him.
For some reason, Chazz now felt more alone with her that far from him, but for the life of him, he couldn't figure out why. He stared for a few more moments as she shifted herself to look out at the city lights, and then bent down and ate the medicine Lily had asked him to eat. Almost immediately, he felt his body become heavy, and his eyes started to droop. His frustration slipped away as his conscious kind of let itself go... but Chazz would not let himself fall asleep. He was much too concerned about Lily to do that.
What if Kong came back while he was passed out? That would be awful. While it was unlikely that the cat survived the fall, Chazz had seen everything on these streets, and it wouldn't surprise him if he or his lackies came for a bout of revenge. When the thought entered his head, he shuttered. For some reason, the prospect of Lilybreeze being manipulated... like that... bothered him much more then he felt it should.
So much so, that after god knows how long, he muttered, "Lily? Are you still awake?"
At first, there was no answer.... and so, Chazz nervously picked himself up. His body was heavier then he was used to, so he took a moment to let himself balance, and then carefully walked towards her. She seemed to be asleep... which was fine, so long as Chazz was awake. He let himself fall down beside her and wrap his tail around the back of her frame. For the first time, he really took in her scent, and in a slurr he said, "You do smell like flowers.... it's nice."
He purred like a kit as he pulled himself closer so that their bodies were touching. It was warm... welcoming... and he loved it. Normally, Chazz wouldn't do anything like this, but with his judgment impaired by the poppy seeds, he was ready to let himself go. Still, he kept himself awake though, because beyond his drowsy mind, his common sense told him to keep as alert as possible.
I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM And You're The Only One That Sees That I Can't Ask These Questions They Cannot Be Answered Today
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Post by ♥Rösε on Jul 14, 2010 10:34:51 GMT -8
Lily made sure to keep her face away from Black Thunder she for some reason didn't want him to know she was even still awake. Pulling her body into a tighter ball she wrapped her tail over her like a safety blanket or something. She wondered if Kong did survive the fall or not, seeing that the building was relatively high he most likely broke his bones during the fall and so would not be able to make his way back up here even if he wanted to. The thought put her mind at ease as she tried to relax and let her body let go and allow her to fall asleep. Closing her eyes she tried to get herself to fall into her dream land but nothing worked, she was restless tonight and it would be awhile until she could even think about fall asleep. Part of her wanted to sneak a glance at Black Thunder to see if he was still up or not, but then she didn't want to she was being complicated right now, even she didn't like it. Resting her head on her paw she stayed quiet jut listening to the sounds of the city, the light buzzing of cars below, how some of the lights started to turn off. Leaving her more alone in the dark, but for once she didn't mind it.
Her ears did a little twitch as she heard rustling over in his direction but chose to ignore it. He was probably just drowsy now. "Lily? Are you still awake?" she heard him mutter, so he still couldn't sleep? Maybe she should have gave him more but she'd rather not chance it. So she just kept quiet and waited for him to go back to sleep, her heart stopped as she heard paw steps coming in her direction. He was coming over to her, why? She lifted her head slightly as he laid beside her. Rolling onto her back so she could see him clearly his head was just above hers and she stared up into his eyes. "Couldn't sleep huh?"[/color] she asked her voice gentle and soft, though part of her was nervous but the touch of his tail over her back, well now stomach made her body tingle. He breathed in, taking in her scent and now she felt a bit self conscious at this. He was acting a bit strange. "You do smell like flowers.... it's nice."[/color] She could feel her heart beat quicken in her chest but she tried to stay cool. Her striking blue gaze ran over his face quickly, she didn't know how to react or if she should say anything or not. So instead she pressed her nose into his muzzle rubbing it gently with the tip of her nose. She could hear his purr echo in her ears and yet she loved how it sounded, she could feel the vibration of it through her nose. He did something unexpected and puled her even closer to him, there bodies completely touching and she could feel the heat surge through them in waves, she wasn't sure what was going to happen now, since he was well, practically on top her now, half way anyways. Well whatever did happen she knew she wouldn't fight it, there was no turning back from it. Lifting her face to his she touched her nose to his before licking his cheek and then resting her head back down on the floor, a soft purr now emitting from her throat in soft rumbles. She stared up at him her blues eyes sparkling with the faded light casted on the to. [/blockquote][/blockquote][/color][/sub]
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Post by Shadow Da Smiffster on Jul 14, 2010 20:31:02 GMT -8
I DON'T MIND I Don't Care As Long As You're Here....
Chazz only purred louder as Lilybreeze went along with him. What he was trying to accomplish, he wasn't sure, but hell with it, he was enjoying himself, right? As Lily touched her nose to his, and then licked his cheek, waves of electric pleasure pulsed through his pelt, and in a moment of thoughtlessness, he bent down and returned the gesture, wondering if she too could feel this sensation.
The glow of the city along with the night sky illuminated Lilybreeze's features as Chazz brought his head back up. It was at that moment that the tom realized how beautiful she was. Unlike any cat he'd seen before, her eyes were captivating, and he couldn't bare to look away from them, "I don't know why, but I'm happy," he said almost breathlessly. He brought his head down again, resting it on Lilybreeze's frame. He could now feel her purring as well, and the sensation overjoyed him. So, he was not the only one happy about.... whatever this was.
"You know, I wouldn't have been able to stand it if Kong got to you. I'd rather die first then let you get hurt like that," he rambled. "You're basically the closest thing to family I have now... Dogstar abandoned me after all...."
At that, Chazz's mind flashed a red light, and his heart rate plummeted. With his eyes wide, he asked, "What are we doing?" Regardless, he made no move to get off of the she-cat, and though his purring lessened, it didn't vanish. He was simultaneity confused, happy, angry, and... something else that he couldn't describe. Were poppy seeds that powerful? No, that wasn't it.... at least, he didn't think so. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he was starting to grasp exactly what was going on here... and as much as he knew it wasn't okay... he liked it.
He shook his head, his ears flattening to his head, "Is it bad that I don't mind this? I mean... I know it's not right.... even if my head is a little loopy from whatever you gave me...." Against all his willpower, Chazz forced himself to get up at the end of his sentence. He didn't understand what was wrong with him.
"I'm an idiot," he sighed. "I'm so, so sorry."
AND I'LL TAKE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE If You Take Me For Everything Do It All Over Again It's All The Same...
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Post by ♥Rösε on Jul 14, 2010 20:56:33 GMT -8
Lily couldn't keep her eyes off of the tom cat before her, both of them seemed to be completely captivated by each other, and whatever it was making her be this way she didn't want it to stop, ever. Was that weird? She allowed a tender smile to place her lips and she continued to purr, she couldn't help it this whole thing made her all giggly and stupid almost as if she herself had taken something as well. The light casted from behind the tom and it almost illuminated around him all silver and glowing it really showed off his face and she never realized how handsome he was until now, now that he was showing his true self. He leaned his face towards hers and she could feel her heart beating through her ears it was that loud, she was almost sure Black Thunder would be able to hear it as well. Her ears slowly flattened on her head to show off her face, his nose touched hers and she closed her eyes, savoring the touch. It moved slowly along her cheek and when his tongue ran along it, she could feel the sparks along her cheek, it burned so nice that she never wanted it to go away.
"I don't know why, but I'm happy,"
The females eyes brightened and she purred loudly. When it died down just enough she nodded. "Im so glad you feel that way.I thought I was the only one."[/color] she mewed gently running her nose on his cheek adoringly she had never remembered ever feeling this happy before in her life, ever. He started to speak about Kong again and she let her striking blue optics soften with his words, he really did care about her. When he mentioned Dogstar she didn't even react in her mind it was Dogstar who? When Black Thunders eyes widened she realized what he meant. She felt almost ashamed yet she wasn't nothing about this felt wrong at all, she wasn't Dogstars anymore, she never really was, she hoped he could see that. She didn't want him to stop, she didn't want him to leave. The very thought made her heart stop, he wouldn't leave her would he? She suddenly felt lost and abandoned for a moment and she waited for him to say something else. When he asked what they were doing she could feel a frown place itself on her lips. "We are living... for once Im living."[/color]she mewed gently and soothingly and watched as he just stared at her, Thinking about this all, she wanted to plead to him, but she couldn't find any other words at this moment. "Is it bad that I don't mind this? I mean... I know it's not right.... even if my head is a little loopy from whatever you gave me...."[/color] Lily knew he was right but she didn't care. "Is not bad at all. I never loved Dogstar, and he never loved me. After recently I emotionally and physically am not his anymore. Can't you see that?"[/color] she mewed almost pleadingly and when he got up she almost whimpered, she didn't want him to leave her. Rolling onto her side she got to her paws. Her striking blue optics rested on his face, she was crushed she really was. He said he was sorry and she took a step forward but stopped herself. "Don't be sorry. I...... I love you. I am not anyone else's but yours, if you want me that is."[/color] she mewed gently , and tenderly she stayed where she was, though she wanted to run to him and press her face in his fur but she was frozen. What would he do now? She hoped he wouldn't just turn her away and forget her, not after this. It would brake her even if she could put up a front and act like she wasn't hurt, she would be. She had never felt this feeling before, it was awful yet awfully wonderful all at the same time. It made her sick to her stomach yet fluttery with butterflies, ones she didn't want to leave. [/blockquote][/blockquote][/color][/sub]
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Post by Shadow Da Smiffster on Jul 14, 2010 22:25:26 GMT -8
DON'T TELL ME IF I'M DYING Cuz I Don't Wanna Know If I Can't See The Sun Maybe I Should Go
Chazz was left in shock at Lily's confession to him. Love? Such a strong word? They hadn't known each other for very long, and she sounded so sure of herself. She was so ready to commit to a broken soul like him. Chazz, The Black Thunder... he had never imagined he would be adored by someone in such a way. He was definitely adored, especially on these streets... but this was different, and when he thought about it, Lilybreeze's words... "we are living... for the first time" rung in his head like a siren.
Was that what he'd been missing during all of his lives? Love? Was that what he'd been searching for all along? He stared at Lily, his eyes clouded with mixed emotions, but with all his heart, he could not bring himself to think of a reason why he shouldn't say that he too, would be hers. It was a bad idea regarding his relationship with his brother... but did Dogstar give a rat's ass about either of them? No. Like he had said before... she was the closest thing to family he had now... and apparently, he was the same to her.
"How are you so sure of yourself?" Chazz asked in bewilderment. "I think you might be the bravest cat I've ever met... just for that. For the eighteen moons I've been alive, no one has ever said those words with such sincerity to me...." he trailed off. "Not even my mother."
He looked at his paws, wondering what he should do. His heart told him yes, and his mind told him no... and his body was torn between both of those drives. Lily seemed serious: she actually loved a lowlife piece of fox-dung like him. The thought was unimaginable. What had he ever done to deserve something like this? He raked his mind for an answer, and he could find none.
And yet, the fact that he could find none brought him some clarity. If he was thinking that she was too good for him, then well... she probably was. But when was too much of a good thing bad? Only if it killed you, and he already knew he would die for her if he had to. What did he have to lose?
"Lily," he spoke at last. As their eyes met, Chazz could not make himself say a word. He was, and probably always would be, terrible at expressing his feelings into words. Hell, he couldn't even describe his mind to himself if he tried to. His feelings almost always were spoken in actions, but how could he portray his own affection to a she-cat that was better then him in every way? He almost felt selfish, for taking this offer.
Regardless, Chazz finally switched his mind off, and instead of saying anything, charged forward and buried his head into Lilybreeze's fur. At first, he said nothing, but he could feel himself choke and wetness stain his face. Tears? Chazz, The Black Thunder... crying? No, that wasn't possible:
"It's raining," he muttered. "Let's get out of here."
DON'T WAKE ME CUZ I'M DREAMING Of Angels On The Moon Where Everyone You Know Never Leaves Too Soon
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